Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the difference between healing on our own and healing in relationship with others. As someone who works with both individuals and couples, I see tremendous value in both paths. In the field of mental health, especially trauma work, we now have access to therapeutic approaches that didn’t exist thirty years ago. Back then, it was widely believed that simply talking about trauma would bring resolution. Today, we understand that true healing requires integrative, body-based, and relational methods.

I came into this work with a deep reverence for people’s stories. I’ve always been fascinated by why people operate the way they do. Perhaps it’s my own way of grasping for safety and certainty in an uncertain world. This fascination—read: hyperfixation—led me to pursue not only becoming a licensed therapist but a certification in complex clinical trauma. I believe that so much of the pain people carry stems from just that: trauma. It’s often the underlying reason people seek therapy—to heal, to make sense of what’s happened, and to understand how they relate to themselves and the world around them.

Have you ever met someone and had a visceral, overwhelming negative reaction to them? We’ve all been there. And we seemingly have nothing to back this up. It’s not logical, there’s no evidence, they haven’t done anything, we simply “have a feeling.” We’re activated and we don’t know why. All we do know is that this feels real – it feels unsafe, and to your mind and your body, it is.